A Sense of Aloneness


Let’s consider for a moment our sense that we are alone. It is an undercurrent experience for all of us here. Let’s consider this loneliness for a moment without regret. Let us explore what it means to feel that we must live this life on our own, that we are autonomous, and that in the end there is nothing to rely on. Let us examine what it means to feel alone, to perceive a changing world which seems to threaten us as we feel forced to carry on alone. We experience within this tone of having to make it on our own, and on the outside we see a world that never stays the same.

Let us allow this experience of loneliness to rest inside of us as part of the river which moves through the human soul. “I am alone. I must rely on what I perceive myself to be and on the few other frail beings around me. Everything changes. Therefore, everything I see becomes a form of vengeance. I am afraid.”

Let’s not make this experience an enemy or feel there’s something wrong with having it. We need to simply recognize that this experience is part of what we feel as human beings on this earth, in this huge and open space we see around us as we look into the stars and ponder the meaning of our journey. When we are quiet in our exploration, we notice also that mixed with the experience of believing we have to make it on our own, we feel a kind of grief interwoven with a longing for something else.

Be assured as we come to these feelings that they are safe and dignified. They speak of strength, not humiliation. We feel alone. We feel fear in our loneliness, and a grief mixed with the desire for something outside of this experience, something we can trust as safe. We want something that radiates love and never ceases to exist. There is a longing in the heart which is deeper than the loneliness. At the same time, we find within ourselves a great question mark as we pass through our lives.

We have these questions about our lives: “Can it be that there is something beyond this experience of change, something which loves and cares and can be depended on? Can it be? If it can, what is the purpose of all my concerns, all my fears, and all my need to defend or hold on? Is there something I can really trust beyond what I can see? If there isn’t, I must be afraid of my own experience. I must be cautious about my inner life. I must be afraid of my secret dreams. I must hold on to those things which seem safe, and struggle with them when they appear to change. I must use this world as it seems to want to use me. If there is nothing else, if this is all that exists, then those who seem to attack me can really hurt. I must respond with an attack in return.”

These are the questions we face as human beings. “Is this experience of change a threat? If it is, how is it possible for me to ever feel that I am safe and loved? How is it possible for me to ever live without regret? If change is all that exists, then my life becomes a race in which I cannot keep up.”

Let’s consider that there is something we can trust, something that is only Love and is not involved or affected by our confusion. Let us consider for a moment something does exist that can never be affected by what will change, and never goes away. Let’s consider for a moment that there is something invisible that can be relied on, something that is safe for eternity and will never disagree with what we are or what we think we’ve done -‑ that no matter what we do or say, there is something which will never go away.

Let us feel for a moment the truth of this idea and what it does to our experience in the world. Let us consider even more deeply that although there is this silent, deep ocean of Love and trust that is available to us, in our present state we can’t see our way to fully trust what is invisible and always in a state of rest.

Let us feel the possibility that an intermediary exists between the great ocean of unaffected silence and us as beings trapped for a moment in the corridor of time. Let’s consider that there is a Brother/Sister who knows us, loves us, and cares for us just the way we are. Its only purpose is to lead us as individuals away from the nagging belief that life is a threat and into the ocean of Love from whence we came.

Let us consider that this intermediary is the central link on the great chain of our destiny, not a chain that binds but a chain that leads away from bondage and into freedom and peace. Let us consider that everything we once saw as a threat becoming a tool which will help us overcome our loneliness when we accept the Love of this intermediary. Let us consider that our experience is not a weight we must carry on our long journey through shadows.

Let us begin to feel that we are not alone. There is a Companion with us at all times. This Companion perceives no gradations and feels equal to us in every way. It sees no forms as better or worse that any other. At the same moment It respects that we do see gradations and forms as if some were better than others. This Brother/Sister is lovingly aware of our attachment to Form as salvation and yearns to gently turn us away from such a painful belief. Let us know that such compassion exists for us here, right now, and that we don’t have to be afraid.

It doesn’t matter what name we give to this Companion who blesses and heals. This Being has come to the earth and has been given ten thousand names, and all that matters is that we accept the gift of Its Love and allow ourselves to have our thirst quenched forever. This ancient Being sings a very simple song from the cradle of our heart, “Everything you feel is holy. Everything you are is holy. You have just misunderstood. Your misunderstanding is not a sin. It is not something you must fight against. It is the very place in which you can begin to find the truth.”

Copyright 1993: Estate of Stephen Robbins Schwartz

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